Revision, Titles, Introductions & Conclusions

Writing with Revision

Revision

Introductions

Thesis

Conclusion

— "The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. You can always do it better, find the exact word, the apt phrase, the leaping simile." Robert Cormier

— Writing is a process of discovery, and you don't always produce your best stuff when you first get started. So revision is a chance for you to look critically at what you have written to see

— if it's really worth saying,

— if it says what you wanted to say, and

— if a reader will understand what you're saying.

Revision Strategies

— Feedback

— Bottom Up

— Cut and Paste

— Touch every word

— Wormholes

Titles

— The title of your paper is the first thing your reader sees, it is your fishing lure, your front porch, as one writer said, “It should be like a perfect metaphor, intriguing and thought provoking, but not obvious or baffling.”

— It should not be: “Cartoon Analysis Paper”

Introductions – 3 things you need

— Motivator

— Specific Consideration

— Thesis

◦ Your argument and your idea. Should not be obvious. Should be very clear, concise, and specific.

◦ It is a good idea to write your thesis AFTER writing the body of your paper

Strong Thesis Statements

— A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.

— Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

— There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

— This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

— This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific

A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

— Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

—My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

—While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

—This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

—A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

—Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

—Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

—This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

—Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

—This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and however.

—A strong thesis statement is specific.

—A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

—World hunger has many causes and effects.

—This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

—Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

—This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

Conclusions: The 3 things you need

Echo introduction

Synthesize

Globalize

Presidential Debate Logistics

All four debates will begin at 9pm ET, and last for 90 minutes.

First Presidential Debate -- September 26 at the University of Mississippi
Topic: Foreign Policy & National Security
Moderator: Jim Lehrer
Staging: Podium debate
Answer Format: The debate will be broken into nine, 9-minute segments. The moderator will introduce a topic and allow each candidate 2 minutes to comment. After these initial answers, the moderator will facilitate an open discussion of the topic for the remaining 5 minutes, ensuring that both candidates receive an equal amount of time to comment

Resource for Rhetorical Analysis

The post following this post, lists several questions to consider when writing a rhetorical analysis. If you use this list and work to answer as many questions as you can while you watch the debate you will have ample information to write your essay.

You should take detailed notes during the debate. Pay attention, not only to what the candidate is saying but how their voice sounds, their body language, what they are wearing etc...

Resource for Rhetorical Analysis

What is the rhetorical situation?

• What occasion gives rise to the need or opportunity for persuasion?
• What is the historical occasion that would give rise to the composition of this text?

Who is the author/speaker?

• How does he or she establish ethos (personal credibility)?
• Does he/she come across as knowledgeable? fair?
• Does the speaker's reputation convey a certain authority?

What is his/her intention in speaking?

• To attack or defend?
• To exhort or dissuade from certain action?
• To praise or blame?
• To teach, to delight, or to persuade?

Who make up the audience?

• Who is the intended audience?
• What values does the audience hold that the author or speaker appeals to?
• Who have been or might be secondary audiences?
• If this is a work of fiction, what is the nature of the audience within the fiction?

What is the content of the message?

• Can you summarize the main idea?
• What are the principal lines of reasoning or kinds of arguments used?
• What topics of invention are employed?
• How does the author or speaker appeal to reason? to emotion?

What is the form in which it is conveyed?

• What is the structure of the communication; how is it arranged?
• What oral or literary genre is it following?
• What figures of speech (schemes and tropes) are used?
• What kind of style and tone is used and for what purpose?

How do form and content correspond?

• Does the form complement the content?
• What effect could the form have, and does this aid or hinder the author's intention?

(Turn Over for more)

Does the message/speech/text succeed in fulfilling the author's or speaker's intentions?

• For whom?
• Does the author/speaker effectively fit his/her message to the circumstances, times, and audience?
• Can you identify the responses of historical or contemporary audiences?

What does the nature of the communication reveal about the culture that produced it?

• What kinds of values or customs would the people have that would produce this?
• How do the allusions, historical references, or kinds of words used place this in a certain time and location?

Homework Sept. 21

Notebook Prompts and REALM

Prompt: Read RA: p.152 and P.173. For each of these Essays answer one question from each R-E-A-L-M category in your notebook. Also answer the three questions that Analytical writing asks: What is the message? Is it effective? Who would disagree?

You will almost certainly take up the elements in a different order, but the acronym will help you remember the five key perspectives to look at when dissecting an argument. You can also use this set of questions to help you begin your rhetorical analysis. As you answer these questions and re-read arguments carefully, other questions will certainly occur to you. Be sure to follow those leads as well to complete a thorough rhetorical analysis.

R - Can you define the probable readers in terms of age, gender, occupation, education, position of power? What values do target readers share with the writer? What range of positions on the issue might target readers hold before reading?

E - What features of the text seem most crucial to understand--the claim, the arrangement of arguments, the supporting evidence, the appeals, the style? What features of the essay make it a more convincing or persuasive argument? What parts of the text are most difficult to read? Why? What parts are most appealing? Why?

A - What do you know about this author? What specific qualifications does the author present to build credibility with the target audience? What appeals to the author's character do you see in the essay? In what ways does the author identify with the readers? Does this level of audience connection help the essay? How?

L - Given what you can discern about target readers, what limitations does that audience impose on the writer? How do the author's background knowledge and experience limit the argument? How do the author's character or values limit the argument? How does the larger context (its history or its social, political, and economic context) of the argument constrain the writer?

M - What seems to have prompted the writer to present this argument? What, if any, is the writer's history of work on this topic? What event might have prompted the writer? What value(s) might have sparked this essay?

Argument, Writing, The Rhetorical Situation: Sept .21

Arguments are everywhere

— You may be surprised to hear that the word "argument" does not have to be written anywhere in your assignment for it to be an important part of your task. In fact, making an argument—expressing a point of view on a subject and supporting it with evidence—is often the aim of academic writing. Your instructors may assume that you know this and thus may not explain the importance of arguments to you in class. Nevertheless, if your writing assignment asks you to respond to readings and class discussion, your instructor likely expects you to produce an argument in your paper.

— Argumentation is not just what your instructors do. We all use argumentation on a daily basis, and you probably already have some skill at crafting an argument. The more you improve your skills in this area, the better you will be at thinking critically, reasoning, making choices, and weighing evidence

— Your next assignment, a rhetorical analysis of the presidential debate, will give you further practice in analyzing arguments and rhetoric and evidence. This will better prepare you to craft your own argument for you research paper.

Traditional Rhetorical Situation: The Rhetorical Triangle

Other Ways to think of the elements of the Rhetorical Situation

— Among the rhetorical elements outlined by Lloyd Bitzer in "The Rhetorical Situation" (Philosophy and Rhetoric, 1968), five are most likely to give readers insight into an argument essay:

— The easiest way to remember these five major components of rhetorical analysis is with the acronym realm:
reader
essay
author
limitations
motivation

— MOTIVATION: Bitzer calls this the exigence or the real-life spark that caused the writer to begin writing. When we consider argument texts, the motivation for writing is often a particular confrontation with someone who holds an opposing position or an insight into a problem that could be solved. Sometimes a writer's motivation is based on his or her values: the writer sees an event and feels strongly that such occurrences should not happen or should not work out the way this particular event did. Such a spark or motivation spurs the writer to begin thinking and eventually writing out the logic that supports a position in a controversy.

— THE READER: Whom is the writer writing to? Given the motivation for the argument, the writer might directly target someone with the power to change a policy or enact a law. Or the writer might decide that mobilizing public sentiment can help change a circumstance the writer views as unfair or wrong-headed. The most effective arguments are tailored specifically to their readers, so this element is a key part of "The Rhetorical Situation" or a rhetorical analysis.

— THE AUTHOR: The writer is the next element to look at in a rhetorical analysis. A writer can adopt a particular mask to present to readers, emphasizing their common humanity or specialized education. In many rhetorical situations, the author will try to highlight the traits she shares with her readers. In other instances, the author may write as an outsider who has a better perspective on a problem or situation. Just how the author presents her character and knowledge, as well as how the author connects with the audience, are key elements in understanding the overall effectiveness of many arguments.

— THE LIMITATIONS: Because writers must accommodate readers' background knowledge and their attitudes toward the focus of the argument, that set of limitations is most obvious as a component of rhetorical analysis. But writers are also limited by their own knowledge, by their perspectives on a topic, by their values, by their emotional connection to a topic. These, too, are key limitations. Finally, because this type of rhetorical analysis focuses on the motivation for an argument, the historical, political, economic, and social contexts for the motivating event also pose some limitations on what a writer can and cannot argue for. These limitations, or constraints as Bitzer labels them, are important to recognize as shaping forces of an overall argument.

— THE ESSAY (OR FOR OUR PURPOSE: THE RHETORIC):The text itself is perhaps the most obvious piece of the rhetorical context to look closely at. Each argument has its own shape based on the specific claim, organization, argument strategies, types of evidence, and style. Each of these sub-points can repay careful analysis to see how they contribute to the effectiveness of an overall argument.

Applying this to your assignment

— In a live, televised debate it is more difficult to quickly analyze rhetoric because you do not have the ability to reread parts of a text and spend a lot of time thinking about it.

— You also have many different elements to consider

— Such as?

— In your notebook jot down what strategies and techniques you can use to effectively watch, understand and analyze the presidential debate.